Associates & Friendships

Today I wanted to pay homage to true friendships as I build on the thought of “Valued Friendship” from my book, The Silence is Too Loud.  First, it’s important to be able to identify real friends and not confuse them with associates or people who are truly just passing through for what they can get from you.  We all have experienced associates who have shown up in our lives, even if we didn’t accurately identify them at the time they were there.

Friendship takes a lot of work and if the person is worth it, you stick and stay and talk and cry and process the problems that come before you.  I believe many of us would agree that true friendship only affords us very few friends in our lives.  I have often told my children and younger folks, “everybody who says they are your friend, are not truly your friend.”  I’m sure some of you as parents have utter similar if not the exact words to your children.  But this is not just young people, it’s all of us who sometimes confuse real friends with those who really do not have your best interest at heart and will not be there for the long haul.  It hurts when people leave your life, but do know it is sometimes the best thing for you.

pass to behave inappropriately, it just means I love you enough to walk through the stuff you may be going through until you get it right.  These are the people you can allow to see you at your worst, knowing they have that much love for you they’re willing to stay.  If you’ve followed me at any length, you know my phrase is “ride or die” friends and we all should have at least one if not more.  These also are the people who will sit with you even in that moment where there are no words, but their presence is felt and appreciated.  Always make sure that you’re giving your all in your friendships and that you can be described as that “ride or die” friend.

Now, pick up your phone and call your “ride or die” friends in your life and let them know you love and appreciate them more than words could ever say.  Never take time for granted, let them know you love them, even when they feel they don’t deserve your love.

Until next time, continue to evolve into the best version of you.




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